Resistance and trying to stay in control


nebula_ngc_3603_jewel_box“What you resist not only persists, but will grow in size.” by Carl Jung

Someone changed it and stated “What you resist persists…and what you accept changes”.

I’m writing about the resistance that stems from the egoic mind. It’s resistance of your essence, of being, and accepting the now. You’ve listened to the thoughts in your head all your life, but has your egoic mind really been looking out for your best interest?

I watched an interview where Adyashanti talked about how as a young kid he didn’t understand why adults were so miserable. Then later he realized that adults were believing the thoughts that run through their minds. That was a shock to him. It seems he already was gifted with the insight not to believe in the thoughts of the egoic mind.

Before awakening, I was like most unawakened people trapped in the mind prison having to listen and believe all the opinions, commentary, orders, negative and judgmental thoughts. When I identified with the thoughts I suffered, felt shackled, and it was so debilitating.

The reason we get pulled into the ego’s trap is because a part of us believes a thought. I cannot emphasize this enough, we focus our attention on a thought when we believe it to be true. Once we follow a thought, we are no longer in the present moment, and trapped in the drama and false reality of the egoic mind.

Below are a list of thoughts and schemes which are resistance that my ego cleverly used to keep me in it’s false reality. See if you can relate to some of them:

  • I felt guilt, shame and not deserving for various reasons including being disconnected from my essence.
  • I wanted to be right and don’t like being wrong.
  • I need to know what will happen first before following an idea, path, or goal.
  • Planting negative ideas and fears to prevent me from pursuing things.
  • Things are overwhelming, so I get depressed and don’t even bother starting something.
  • I should control my life, and not surrender to God’s will because my pain and suffering was caused by God.
  • Don’t become so curious about things.
  • I never will quiet my thoughts.
  • I can’t connect to my essence.
  • Once connected to my essence, I’m going to lose it again and never going to get it back.
  • It takes too long to connect to my essence so why bother trying.
  • I feel angry that feeling of my essence is so subtle, and I want to feel it only if it’s strong and easy to feel.
  • One of the things I’ve known I wanted to do for a while is to teach and coach. My ego distracted me with a lot of daydreaming of what I would teach to others. A classroom in my head so to speak.
  • Don’t teach spiritual things because you could get condemned or killed over it.
  • Who would listen to anything I have to say.
  • People didn’t pay attention to me so why should I pay attention to them.
  • Afraid to pursue my deep longing because it may not happen.

Also thousands of other bombarding thoughts that aren’t helpful or true. Of course the aspect of connecting or disconnecting from our true essence is ridiculous. We can never be disconnected from our essence because we are it. Also not surrendering to God’s will because it was God that caused my suffering was a big lie. It turns out that believing in the thoughts of the egoic mind is what causes suffering.

We might want to try to stop believing in our thoughts. Our true essence hardly ever communicates through words. Not initially anyway. Not until we have become used to being our true self and the subtlety of awareness. We can go by how we feel. The egoic mind does not have the answers, it only thinks it does.

Give up trying to control your life. Do you still really think you control your own life? Has things always gone your way? Sorry to tell you that you were never really in control of your life. Everything that has happened to us is because the essence of who we are has allowed it for the experience of it. There is co-creation between human and essence. As a human we can make requests and wishes, but the essence of who we are ultimately decides to accommodate the request or not. That’s because at the elevated level of awareness or essence, all decisions are made for the highest good for all. At our limited human perception we cannot always know what is truly right for us, and especially for another person.

We can save ourselves a lot of trouble and always try and accept what is happening in the moment. We really don’t have a choice because whatever is happening, is already happening so we might as well accept it. The other important reason is because rejecting anything is like rejecting the essence of who we are. Similarly, we wouldn’t reject one of our limbs, would we?

The antidote to resistance is surrender. Surrender is genuinely accepting everything in the moment. Our ego may not like what is happening but accept that it is happening, including possibly not liking what is happening is the key. Resisting any part of the moment is like shooting ourselves in the foot, it hurts and sabotages us. Everything is us so how can we reject anything. Resistance doesn’t help us in the long run. It’s important to understand that resisting anything is like cutting off a whole arm just because we got a small cut on a finger. Accept everything as if we made it this way (which in actuality we did).

As the Borg’s say on Star Trek, “Resistance is futile!”, is eventually true. Whether in this lifetime or another, you will awaken, stop resisting, and surrender in the flow of your true essence. It hurts too much not to be in the flow of love.

Peace can always be found in the moment.